Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Trust 101

I admire people who unreluctantly opens up without weighing in the gravity of what they are about to unload. It's either they are a truly free-sprited person or simply naive of their willingness to trust. I could imagine pouring your heart out to your very best friend, but to friends you have acquired, though you feel easy getting along with, a revelation could mean a lot to your so-called friendship.

Enjoying a night out with a pal and sharing bountiful of laughter can be the start of a great bond. But if all you have in common is ending each other's punchlines, then it is not made up for a sturdy friendship. The real test is when one is in need. The way the other person responds or the sincerity of the act would make or break that kinship. And most often than not, it is too late for the person who entrusted his revelation, to take back what he/she thought was a safe seclusion. Either the person who was confided to didn't take the disclosure too seriously, or he/she is not ready to be burdened with such vote of confidence. Whatever other reason there is, the trustor is already in jeopardy and depending on the seriousness and magnitude of such trust, would determine how deep that friendship will be altered.

From a different perspective, stepping inside that circle of trust with somebody does not require tremendous effort. Most often than not, the person's unwillingness to share is due to a very unpleasant experience, the uncertainty of the response he/she may get, the severity of the deed or the actual involvement of the other person on such issue. But in as much as it is hard to trust a close acquaintance, the actual issue may just be the ramifications of self-trust. For sharing such trust would mean finally owning it, perhaps taking a chance that the world would finally know what you have been dreading to admit to yourself all along. And maybe you are not ready, just not ready yet for the universe to know. Perhaps you would not be ready at all...

The truth will set you free is what they say but then, how would that person you have entrusted handle it? Would they judge you? Accept you still even if it's a moral issue they strongly disagree with? Would they prefer not to have known? Understand that if your friendship with this person is not as unfathomable as you may think, it is important to waddle the water near shore first, before you dive into the deep. So trust is not entirely a one-way street (at least on my book). I can claim myself as considerate by not burdening you with the truth even if your gossip buds are dying to know, or I can simply be selfish for not believeing you can handle it. Maybe I should just toss a coin and get this over with, right? Piece of cake.